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Thursday, February 27, 2003
see what working for a living does for ya-up and posting at 4:50 am-that'll happen when you accidently set your clock ahead an hour while setting the alarm. DUH on me! ATTENTION! everyone try and be nice to each other today (and every day)-all the assholes seemed to be out wed. evening (i saw two different women at the gas station about the same time. see, bitch, that dead animal on your back don't make you all that better than us!). just because one station hadn't raised the price yet, everyone and his mama was at this particular one and DAMMIT(!) they weren't gonna let anyone ahead of them. NEWSFLASH!! it's only gonna get worse-gas and oil and all that other stuff we depend on is only gonna last so long; maybe not in our lifetime, but the earth is only so big and if you keep sucking on that straw, eventually you're gonna get that annoying empty-sipping-at-the-bottom sound. (kinda like the noise britt and nik make when the captain has gone sailing for the night) DEAL WITH IT! quit blaming the government and the oil people and whoever else you want to blame for all this shit. everyone's got a part in it. now go hug your dog or cat and remember, if you're not nice to people eventually your pet will be the ONLY one to be your friend. Wednesday, February 26, 2003
"I don't know what they said; I only know that they met. What do you want me to do, kill 'em? if you want me to kill 'em, I'll kill 'em. I don't have to kill 'em, but I'd like to kill 'em...I killed Ashley Wentworth; another killing or two won't make a difference...It would make me happy...I'd like to kill 'em both...I think it'd be better if I kill 'em both...Well, let me kill just one then...Whichever one you want...Alright, I'll wait. But the minute you say kill 'em, I'll kill 'em. I'll love to kill 'em. It would give me immense pleasure." "All right, people, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the corps!" "I admire its purity, its sense of survival; unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality." Monday, February 24, 2003
"I expect the best and I give the best. Here's the beer! Here's the entertainment! Now have fun! That's an order!" is there a chance that SOMEONE out there was watching KINGPIN and could tell me how it ended? it was on sundays and tuesdays and from what i saw it was good, but could i finish it? OH NO! senseless thoughts......... it's scary how mystery science theatre 3000 is so damn funny (even when it's just plain stupid). i think my cat wants to kill me. i have a pet spider...it lives in my walls and it's name is NOT charlotte. do you ever imagine someone or someTHING is right behind you as you start up the basement stairs and you're just waiting for that hand to grab your foot (you can't hear them or it at all!) sometimes i wish i was a drug addict so i could enjoy some really great stuff. instead, i like chocolate. (i guess that would be considered a drug, the way i eat it!) i can see the road underneath my truck from my floorboard. pretty soon it's gonna be like one of the rides at six flags! elvis is STILL dead. apparently the peoria police are searching for a murder suspect and would like the public to help, to call the phone # they supplied in a news story on the web (and affiliated with WEEK-25). funny, but since there's no picture OR no description of the guy, unless you know him personally, i doubt any of us would know the guy if he was standing in front of us (and admitted to the crime). just one more example of what a great bunch of reporters and (award-winning?) news "teams" there are in the world. file this one under "DUH", subtitled "i went to college for this and got a degree!" Sunday, February 23, 2003
aren't animals neato? chocolate? pepsi? margaritas? (bahama mamas and cpt morgan and sprite for nik and britt)? sex? cable when there's so much on you want to watch you can't decide? sleeping in on warm rainy days with the windows open and a good book beside you? sex? laughing so hard with your friend (or friends) that you almost pee your pants (britt!)? birds singing and seeming HAPPY? sex? getting crunchies with your food from LJS WITHOUT asking? an affectionate lick on your cheek from your cat or dog? don't forget the sex. i've made a few "observations" myself these past couple of days... WHY CAN'T I GET CRUNCHIES WITH MY FOOD AT LONG JOHN SILVER'S? IT'S IN THE PICTURES ON TV; THEY ACTUALLY CHARGE 15 CENTS IF YOU ASK FOR THEM BUT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK, NOW SHOULD I?! I UNDERSTAND WHAT THE WHEELCHAIR SYMBOL ON LICENSE PLATES IS FOR, BUT SHOULDN'T YOU STILL DRIVE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE...AT THE VERY LEAST THE FRIGGIN' SPEED LIMIT? I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION YOU HAD THAT SYMBOL ON THERE BECAUSE YOU GET TO PARK IN THOSE PARKING SPACES AND YOU MIGHT HAVE A MODIFIED DASHBOARD TO HELP YOU DRIVE. SO DO IT! QUIT DRIVING LIKE YOU CAN'T REACH THE PEDALS OR YOU'RE AFRAID TO ACTUALLY GET MOVING. IF YOU'RE GOING SLOWER THAN EVERYONE ELSE AND SOMEONE COMES UP BEHIND YOU AND RUNS INTO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING SLOWER THAN EVERYONE ELSE WHEN YOU WENT AROUND THE CURVE THAT NO ONE COULD SEE THRU TO THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE OF THE CURVE BUT SUDDENLY YOU "APPEAR" WHEN THEY COME AROUND THE CURVE AND CAN'T STOP IN TIME BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING S-L-O-W-E-R THAN EVERYONE ELSE....DUH! WAY TO GO STUPID! GO THE SPEED LIMIT DIPSHIT! IF YOU GET PULLED OVER BY A COP AND YOU'RE PISSED OFF ABOUT IT SO YOU DECIDE TO PULL OVER ON THE SAME FUCKING ROAD THAT CARS ARE ON (INSTEAD OF ONTO A SIDE STREET OR THAT WIDE SIDE OF A ROAD THAT CARS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRIVE ON) BECAUSE YOU THINK "IF HE'S PULLIN' ME OVER THEN HE CAN STAND OUT THERE IN TRAFFIC 'CAUSE I'M DOING SOMETHING WRONG BUT HOW DARE HE PULL ME OVER FOR IT!"...DON'T DO THAT, DIPSHIT! I DON'T WANT TO HIT ANYBODY AND IT'S A PAIN TO AVOID BOTH OF YOU, ESPECIALLY IF TRAFFIC'S ALL OVER! note to other drivers: GET IN THE OTHER LANE WHEN SOMEONE IS ON SIDE OF THE ROAD. IT'S DANGEROUS AND YOU'RE BEING A MAJOR DICK. note to police everywhere: THOSE LIGHTS YOU USE TO ILLUMINATE THE WHOLE COUNTRYSIDE (I KNOW WHEN IT'S DARK YOU NEED THEM) BLIND ME IF I'M COMING TOWARD YOU. CAN'T YOU ADJUST THEM SOMEHOW? I'M AFRAID ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GONNA BE BLINDED LONG ENOUGH TO HIT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING. note back to other drivers: I KNOW THERE ARE BAD DICK-COPS OUT THERE, BUT THERE ARE GOOD ONES, TOO. THEY HAVE A JOB TO DO, SO SHOW SOME RESPECT, AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS GONNA GET YOU IN TROUBLE AND YOU GET CAUGHT, BE AN ADULT AND DON'T BE SO SHOCKED. IF YOU HAPPEN TO GET A BAD DICK-COP, CALL SOMEONE AND GET HIM/HER IN TROUBLE (THIS IS ONLY IF THEY ABUSE THEIR JOBS, NOT BEACUSE THEY PISSED YOU OFF.) nobody wuvs me...no shout outs, no silly comebacks, and now dave -from-the-south hates me! i really SHOULD get a van down by the river! Thursday, February 20, 2003
now you just watch it there; if you're not careful, you're gonna end up like me, in a VAN down by the RIVER! Wednesday, February 19, 2003
"i don't know, sparks. but i guess i'd say if it is just us...seems like an awful waste of space." (carl sagan STILL rules) Tuesday, February 18, 2003
britt says i should talk about myself some more. i guess that makes more sense than me just starting to bitch about stuff and no one knows who i am (or supposed to be). i live in pekin, ill. (just like britt) and have worked at waldenbooks for several long years. THAT will change this sunday, my last day for good; my new job at pdc labs in peoria will be mine full time. i'm gonna miss working with britt and nik (and a few other people)-we have had some FUN! anyone who thinks a book store would be boring should work with these guys.with them it's anything but.i'm a HUGE animal lover-like diana a lot of the time i like them better than people. if anyone has a problem with that philosophy, NOT MY FAULT; TALK TO ALL THE DICKS IN THE WORLD. sure there are a lot of great people out there, but some days it seems like dicko is the only one you're running into lately.i'm always nice first, but if you are an asshole to me in any way, i can be one, too.britt and nik can vouch for me-i love to have fun with my friends (when britt gets her money and PRETENDS to like me) and i'm still learning on this machine. i'm not as funny as the little shit, i mean, uh, britt; not as cute as nikki (the only pictures you may see will be of the "kids");how sad is it when nikki can look cute WHILE she picks her nose!?! until i can get this blog to look neato like britt's and aidan's (he reminds me of an international spy for some reason! oops-please don't kill me if i'm right, aidan, i SWEAR i'm just speculating!), i'll find some more quotes (did you guess i like movies?) and various other things to bitch about. Sunday, February 16, 2003
one more day (next sunday) and then... NO MORE RETAIL, NO MORE BOOKS, NO MORE CUSTOMER'S DIRTY LOOKS. IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT, WELL,THAT'S TOO BAD. 'CAUSE LEAVING HERE, WON'T MAKE ME SAD! don't worry...my new job is NOT writing poetry! I NEED A MARGARITA!!! "and i really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. and i really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. i want...a fucking car... RIGHT...THE FUCK...NOW." Saturday, February 15, 2003
to the cilco-whatever-your-name-is-now guys who probably got paid as much TODAY as i do all week-thanks for the mess in my yard, dickheads. i appreciate your diligence in taking care of the tree situation-obviously you were acting in MY best interest. Friday, February 14, 2003
PEKIN HOSPITAL. home of the greediest bunch of DICKS in pekin. it doesn't matter that my friggin' bill was almost $10,000 after i broke my ankle. the emergency drs and nurses were GREAT...a couple of the people on the 5th floor were GREAT (although i believe the 5th floor is where they send the BAD people, cause some of them were kinda mean). my insurance paid for all but $150; i've made two monthly payments of $5 each ALONG with a note saying i would pay that once a month, so being the reputable place it is, they turn me over to a collection agency (in texas, no less)...making me feel about an inch tall and pretty much ruining my afternoon. i guess that SOMEBODY'S NOT getting paid at the hospital...i guess that $140 is just gonna break these assholes. it wasn't enough to get paid nearly $10,000-they want it ALL!! i feel so guilty, so cruel and uncaring, so...wait-NOT! UP YOURS YOU DICKS! YOU....ARE....ONLY....GETTING....$5....A....MONTH. OBVIOUSLY YOUR CAREERS IN MEDICINE (LOOK THAT WORD UP, DIPSHIT) ARE TAKING YOU FAR! i'll bet you beat kittens and small children on the weekends. you think EVERYONE's out to cheat you; if they are you probably DESERVE to be cheated! you better hope YOU don't get into that situation; you WON'T like it. Thursday, February 13, 2003
ALERT! ALERT! the f.b.i. has leads on several al queda (did i spell it right? wouldn't want to offend the little dicks- HA!-i'll bet THAT'S true!) gomers in the country and is debating on whether they should arrest them...maybe the press and the f.b.i. SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING...make it a SURPRISE? see, that way, they just might get caught. that way, the bad guys might FINALLY get arrested...put away...sent to the big house...hopefully get an ass whippin', too. maybe they should CALL first, make sure it's ok to come over...DUH. maybe the press should back off and do their job...it's called NEWS, chicken little. you guys would get the world into a wild frenzy over ANYTHING you could find, just to sell a paper. the sky isn't always falling and sometimes, thank goodness, GOOD things happen, too! Wednesday, February 12, 2003
oh...my...GAWD!!! just got the OFFICIAL e-mail...i could be the next winner of 100 million trillion billion dollars! all i have to do is fill out a bunch of SHIT! HEY! here's a thought...hows 'bout you just give me my money, and i'll buy a BUNCH of your friggin' magazines! here's another thing, i won't complain about the taxes! the way i see it is, i didn't have the million trillion billion to start with, and, even if you take HALF, that's STILL half of a million trillion billion, which makes it, what, just a billion? BRING IT ON!! so what did we LEARN this day? and what will we DO with what we've learned? and just WHAT was nikki doing in her car when that picture was taken? oooh!oooh! saw this nice lookin' guy driving down the highway in his big-ass truck the other day...(you KNOW what they say about a guy with a big-ass truck!?). anyway he was sooo cool; like a commercial for big-ass trucks! suddenly, there's his hand through his window (it was rolled down) and what did i see, a big piece of PAPER! there goes your coolness rating, lone ranger! you are now offically known as THE BIG-ASS ASS! what the f***k are you thinking? are you so closed minded that you don't THINK (look it up) that ANY of your actions affect anyone else? boy you're SO RIGHT there! i have always LOVED seeing garbage in my yard because people like YOU are too lazy to PUT IT IN A BAG UNTIL YOU CAN GET TO A GARBAGE CAN. honey, please don't even TRY to tell me you vehicle is clean and you don't want that shit in it. that goes for the occasional moron that walks down the street (namely mine) and throws down the can of soda or empty bag from hardees ("golly, i didn't know i'm not 'sposed to not do that" he says as he "scratches"....) now could this be rule #5? don't litter? DON'T LITTER!! why you ask? it 's not MY problem, you say? that's as bad as the "it's not MY fault he's getting all those dogs pregnant; they should be spayed! my dog ain't poppin' out litters!" (this guy can usually be seen on the jerry springer show late at night, telling the whole world he's in love with his momma's sister's doctor's wife's brother's pit bull). DON'T LITTER! GARBAGE CAN! HEFTY CINCH-SAK! RECYCLE RECYCLE RECYCLE!! now what was my point? HEY! WHY CAN'T...jon bon jovi and john cougar (or john cougar mellencamp or john mellencamp) tour together; it would be called the "ROCKIN' ASS!!" tour... HEY! WHY CAN"T...my paycheck be bigger...($-wise, not length-wise)... (although length is somewhat important) HEY! WHY CAN'T...i look like someone jon or john would hang out with... HEY! WHY CAN'T...my boyfriend find a way to LEGALLY hurt his boss (and various other dicks he works with) financially (OUCH!) and, oh yes, a couple of them physically (leaving no permanent damage, whether it be physical or emotional)... HEY! WHY CAN'T...the politicians in this world of ours just TRY to look at "it" reasonably; "it" is anything that OBVIOUSLY is a danger to people or to the environment (guess what...THAT will someday lead to PEOPLE). i don't consider myself a tree hugger; just because i'd rather enjoy a nice sunset with trees or a lake in front of me instead of spending my time with the "beautiful people" doesn't mean i'm uneducated. it must be rough spending all that time at the country club or shopping with the hubby's (and in some cases, i'm sure, the wife's) american express, only to be SO HARRIED that you just can't make that dinner party; why DO they have to have that damn thing in the bahamas EVERY F****N' YEAR!? why should you worry about clean air or clean water or whether there's any more howler monkeys left? it's not like they WORK for you; there's bottled water and canned air, so why worry? oh, to hell with it...next time i take a walk in the woods, i just may hug a tree after all...while i still can! HEY!! PEACE!! Sunday, February 09, 2003
note to the bible people-when getting out of church where you've prayed and given money and joined your fellow man in a loving (some of you need to look that word up) atmosphere-GOD SAYS IT'S OK TO STILL BE THAT LOVING, KIND (look that up too) HUMANITARIAN (must i say it?). note to the disney lovers-DISNEY IS DEAD. just like elvis, he was a PERSON. mickey mouse is MADE UP. he was NOT REAL. i'm sorry to burst your bubble, but there ARE other neato parks to go to that have rides and stuff like that. if disney's people REALLY wanted you there because they love having you blah blah blah it wouldn't be so freakin' expensive! they love having your MONEY. YOUR MONEY...YOUR MONEY MAKES THEIR WORLD GO 'ROUND. it's not a small world after all, is it? LET IT BE KNOWN...PEOPLE SHOULD THINK BEFORE THEY HAVE CHILDREN!! are you REALLY going to be a good parent? this DOES include (but not limited to)...making the kid MIND YOU...be POLITE...no TEMPER TANTRUMS OR YOU'RE GONNA GET A BEATIN'!!...DON'T TOUCH...no talking back or YOU"RE GONNA GET A BEATIN'!!...if you do touch, PUT IT BACK or let ME give you a BEATIN'!! an occaisional hug and "i love you " is definitely required, but there still may be a BEATIN' that is needed. oh, yeah, if the teacher or cops call and say your kid did it, then he/she did it! stop acting like your kid NEVER does anything wrong and everyone around you is against the little shit. it's called denial...watch the Shawshank Redemption; maybe THEN you'll get YOUR shit together and fix it BEFORE it happens! Saturday, February 08, 2003
this freakin computer is driving me crazy!! i had several paragraphs POSTED but not yet entered on blog-error page came up and it was GONE! maybe i should consider this a sign-i wrote CRAP! (it wasn't scottish) signs...maybe they're from aliens-oooh, where's mel? or even joaquin? i'm not drunk OR high-i just play one when i can. read britt's blog today...careful britt, or you're gonna end up in a "van down by the river!" at the risk of sounding like a cynical, whiney bitch...people suck. not all of them; actually, there are more nice people than there are sucky people. the sucky people suck. that's why they're called sucky people. are YOU a sucky person? if you are, get help IMMEDIATELY!!! no one likes you, and if something ever happens to you, no one cares. learn to be nice or you may wind up ALONE and STUPIDLY SUCKY. stop being mean to animals and small children, stop hogging the road AND that pain-in-the-ass skinny aisle in wal mart, and stop being a rude pain-in-the-ass customer everywhere else. oh, yeah...tip your waiter/waitress...they weren't put on this earth to make sure your coffee cup is always full (which you drink as you bitch about how cold it is). try it. went to bloomington this evening. HEY!! Lane trucker...it's called a TURN SIGNAL...use it! freakin' goober gives truckers a bad name w/shit like that. also the bimbo at the tremont citgo in the real purty green ta or camaro (whatever) that her daddy gave her (had one of those stupid license plates little rich girls like to put on their car-THKS DADY-or something like it)-WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU STUPID BITCH! you never even looked at me after you almost hit me! go ahead, i want a new car! is it a full moon tonight? it's true what they say-the full moon makes people act strange. next one we have pay a little more attention to those around you. stay inside. lock your doors. Wednesday, February 05, 2003
DON'T YOU JUST HATE...that stupid commercial about hardee's burgers where people are sitting in chairs talking about hardee's burgers? DON"T YOU JUST HATE...those stupid commercials about GIRLS GONE WILD!!? what about GUYS GONE WILD!!? let's see some of THAT. oh, i forgot...they're all on the GIRLS GO WILD!! tape. they're the ones that will have they're own tape called GUYS THINK THEY"RE GETTING LUCKY BUT ONLY RACKING UP THE EVIDENCE SO THE WIFE CAN GET EVERYTHING IN THE DIVORCE!! DON'T YOU JUST HATE...the fact that it takes britt DAYS to post one of her "lists"? more later........... Tuesday, February 04, 2003
ok ok ok. i guess you have these guys at work no matter WHAT the job! my job at the lab includes cleaning glassware. i'm supposed to do about 4 hours of it before i can do MY stuff. as usual, there are those who think MY JOB is to be there for THEM. i'll bend over backwards to help you if you ask and say such strange little words as "please" and "thank you"...BUT...if you have a hard time being human ("ouch...dat hurts me"), then i'm going to have an attitude with you. SO...rule # 4 is the same as rule # 1-MANNERS! look it up in the dictionary if need be...stop being a dick! one of these days all the people who have been shit on may decide ENOUGH and "take out" (britt's) the next offender. you never know...you may find yourself on an episode of the Twilight Zone... Monday, February 03, 2003
Sunday, February 02, 2003
WHY...does blogger ALWAYS ask me to sign in even tho i checked the "remember me" box? WHY...do i lose all my text for posting unless i right click and save? WHERE...can I find a doggie parka like pheobis' big enough for fed (preferably in fuscia) HOW...can i become a snobby actress like britt?(when you get a part w/ray, i expect to be called BEFORE, not after...free movie tickets, also). WHY...do some people not appreciate it when i'm nice to them...and why can't i hurt them for it? WHY...does britt have it in for the local police...and how can we use that to our benefit? WHEN...will it snow again? ...a lot. ...say...at least 10 feet? shut up, you weinie! this ain't florida!! another day at the bookstore-another day of NOT knowing what you want, where your toddler is putting that f****n book he's been messing up for the last 10 minutes(!), and, oh YEAH, NOT doing the reading assignment your teacher gave you-guess what-CLIFF NOTES ARE GOING TO GET YOU IN TROUBLE! why spend money for school if you're gonna cheat? SHIT- i forgot about that "ry-chis pardy, dude". i guess i'm jealous 'cause mummy and daddy didn't send me to college. i have to PAY for mine! britt-DO THE BARBIE THING!! DO THE BARBIE THING!! had a great time with britt and nikki yesterday. met at applebees for a while, then a late movie (darkness falls). it was scary in parts, but boy, britt sure does scare easily. the best part was all the laughing we did all day. just had a wonderful time (although britt has issues with cops-jeez we're lucky we didn't have to bail her out of jail!! she fights authority, authority always will!) thanks you two for a great time! oh, yeah-cool song-i will always think of that as britt's theme song-EH! Saturday, February 01, 2003
what a crappy way to wake up on a sleep-in-saturday.now all the rumors will start-doesn't help with people like that bimbo on the news this morning who called in to say how beautiful it was the way everyone got more info thru those phone calls than the news itself. LAY OFF THE BONG WATER!! i'm inclined to believe that things DO wear out and accidents DO happen-that shuttle had a lot of miles on it-(i hope it was super quick for them). unfortunately there are those that think we spend too much money on the space program-besides, we're the ONLY ones here in this universe, right? DUH!! if you believe that i feel for you. why would they want to come to this playground when we can't play fair with each other AND we keep fucking up our resources? anyway, lets be thankful for how lucky we are and say a little prayer for those whoo need it. |