aliens stole my wallet |
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Saturday, May 31, 2003
BOOBIES IS THE FUNNIEST WORD FOR...WELL, YOU KNOW...BUT HOOTERS IS THE SECOND FUNNIEST. hey, I didn't make these up...... just chased a freakin' neighbor's cat-got away w/what i think was a baby bird-one of the other birds (probably a parent) is STILL out there all upset. everyone who knows me knows how much i love these animals, but i could just ring that f**ker's neck. f**kin' owners who make excuses for letting their pets run around to get pregnant, maimed, killed, whatever-stop making excuses! also-i keep hearing a cell phone tone on the tv (i hope)-the very same tone that was heard in jurassic park 3-when it was swallowd by the big-ass dino and you heard it before he attacked everyone.crreeeepy! went to peoria to check out the new mall-like walking thru perfectville. as usual all the shops were for skinny-ass chicks, people w/weird tastes in clothes (and furniture) and wealthy people. i guess i'm a low-end kinda person. a lot of the people weren't exactly friendly, either. i had to check out borders (against my better judgement) and there was my old boss, rita. don't you hate it when people joke around w/you, and while they're making smartass comments to you that MAY be little digs you're not sure if they're SERIOUS? that't exactly what she was doing-hey howdy THAT was fun! Thursday, May 29, 2003
no, i did NOT "get eaten" as nikki put it (hehehe)-i couldn't find the source. but speking of scary stuff, i got an email that asks..."who DOESN'T love disney!?"...ME. "who WOULDN'T like a $100 gift certificate to the disney store!?"...ME. Wednesday, May 28, 2003
hmm...just heard a noise in my basement. sounded like something fell over...or was PUSHED. i, not being one of those stupid bimbos that will descend into the bowels of said dark and damp underground for such a reason as this, WILL consider such an adventure only if there's a good f**kin' reason. now unless ray or vin (or one or two other certain someones) happen to call my name from that same direction, the only OTHER reason i would have to delve into that subterranean pit of uncertainty....would be for laundry. just what exactly could make such a noise? taking cat inventory, i see that everyone is present and accounted for. the chin is asleep, the hamster, too. the dragon is also settling down, and the dog is just too nervous to EVER creep downstairs. maybe it was the occasional bat that finds its way inside, sometimes making it upstairs, causing quite an uproar until it is caught and released outside. if this is the case, it certainly must be a BIG one, for the noise i heard was a LOUD one. and so i must make my way downstairs, just to quell the uncertainty in my mind. please keep in mind...if you should NEVER hear from me again, movies don't lie. someone really WAS down there, waiting for me...and it wasn't you-know-who. it was you-know-what. Monday, May 26, 2003
saw BRUCE ALMIGHTY last night-HILARIOUS! i loved it! definately funnier than i expected. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? in the women's bathroom, there is, you know, where someone MISSED on the toilet seat. someone please tell me...how the f**k do you get some on the seat? i realize guys miss all the time-even though they just aim and shoot-but how does some chick do it? is the seat too low? are you nervous? are you in a hurry?WTF??? Sunday, May 25, 2003
"C'MON FEEL THE NOISE".....i believe someone may be having a grad party behind me-music's loud but good, although the dj could not STOP THE FUCKING SONG BEFORE IT'S DONE PLAYING!! there's a cool radio station that plays bob and tom and then older rock-they are always doing the same thing and it makes me crazy. Wednesday, May 21, 2003
mmmmmm...i'm craving...chocolate, pepsi, a rare steak, a long intimate cuddle with someone who shall remain nameless, the perfect campfire, a puppy, a kitten (don't even go there, diana), a great laugh with my friends, a wonderfully scary make-me-scream (really) movie, wonderful make-me-scream (definately) sex, a long hot bath, a steaming cup of hot tea, a margarita, a jeep, an end to all this bullshit fighting, justice, a great book that keeps me up all night, willpower, a comfortable dreamless (at least BAD dreams) sleep, a cuddle from my cats, the look of a genuine chaps-wearing-jeans-tight cowboy as he walks past me, a steady rain in 75 degree weather, a wink from said cowboy, sweetened ice tea, chips and sour cream dip, bazooka bubble gum, a whole DAY at the movies, north carolina, the look of a chaps-wearing-tight-jeans biker as he sits astride his harley or harley-looking machine...................... hmmmmmmmm...someone's having a birthday soon and i forget who it is. oh well, i'm sure it's not that big a deal. Monday, May 19, 2003
my computer hates me. everytime i try to go to nik's or britt's or diana's blog it takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r. i guess it could be worse-if this were a stephen king novel my computer would come to life and hurt me in a real bad way. ~shudder~ Sunday, May 18, 2003
HA!! isn't the word "boobies" funny? who ever thought of THAT one? hhhmmmmm-guess what?! i and some of my friends (females, of course) have BOOBIES!!! HA!! i guess that's no worse than "knockers"-who would've thought a guy could come up with such wonderful descriptions!! GOOD NEWS!! i can get a free issue of the disney magazine AND a $100 gift certificate to the disney store!!! what to do...what to do... OH! i know....NOTHING. by the way, elvis is STILL dead...mickey mouse is NOT a real...whatever, and star trek is not THE definition of sci fi-now mystery science theatre 3000, that's a whole different story!!! TOM SERVO RULES!!! Saturday, May 17, 2003
RENT THIS MOVIE!! BUY IT!! EQILIBRIUM with Christian Bale. it's a great story and GREAT fight scenes, better than the MATRIX! make sure you get the dvd so you can watch the fight scenes again-check out the first one in slow motion-quite cool. did you REALLY miss me? i've been so busy at work and too freakin' tired to get on computer lately-hope everyone is having a great week-i'm off to watch the PREAKNESS-(unfortunately from my livingroom). okay, nik, insult me!! i look forward to those!! GIDDYUP!!! Monday, May 12, 2003
ah, spring! so glad nikki wasn't hurt in that storm-not to mention the critters. i made it home just in time for the sirens to go off. poor fed stayed in the bathtub (it's his "safe" place). we were all lucky. at least we don't have the earthquakes like california does. yuck!! Wednesday, May 07, 2003
ATTENTION BRITT!!! i want to change stuff on my blog. i am officially putting in a workorder; please let me know when we can work on this...if you don't mind. you know i love you, don't you? this is it-one more thing then i'm off to do my chores....... ANYONE WHO ATTEMPTS ANY INDECENT BEHAVIOR TOWARDS A CHILD SHOULD BE PUNISHED. ANYONE WHO SUCCEEDS IN SAID ATTEMPT SHOULD BE SHOT ON SIGHT. THERE SHOULD BE SOMEONE JUST A PHONE CALL AWAY WHO COMES WHEN CALLED, CARRYING A BASEBALL BAT AND A GUN, AND READY TO USE EITHER ONE. I'M SO TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT SOME PERVERT, OR ASSHOLE THAT CAN'T HANDLE HIS "PROBLEM" AND RESORTS TO MURDER. WHAT'S EVEN WORSE IS THAT THE "RIGHTS" OF THIS PERSON ARE SO IMPORTANT. PLEASE-IF IT'S OBVIOUS THEY DID IT, IF THEY CONFESS, IF THEY WERE CAUGHT WHILE DOING IT, WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT RIGHTS? THERE'S TOO MUCH OF THIS SHIT GOING ON. THERE. MY RANT FOR THE WEEK. P.S.ANIMAL ABUSERS SHOULD GET THE SAME TREATMENT. OOOH-I FEEL LIKE SUCH A BITCH (WATCH IT BRITT...NIKKI; I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING). The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo! Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Test APPARENTLY I'M IN LIMBO-AT LEAST I'M NOT A BIMBO!! I WOULDN'T MIND KNOWING A HIMBO.... Tuesday, May 06, 2003
why is it that people who drive jaguars think they're soooo cool? that has to be one of the ugliest cars on the planet, yet joe cool gets an attitude whenever he's behind the wheel. (no, i'm NOT jealous, they really ARE ugly) why do some people NOT work when they should be working and get away w/it, yet others who try hard and make mistakes get all the shit thrown at 'em? when is britt gonna help me improve my blog? when am i gonna become a funny, enlightening and overall can't-stand-to-NOT-read-her-blog person? does britt still have that "problem"? yes, i can truely say she does. nik can vouch for me. THE BORDERS CORP. HAS ONCE AGAIN SHOWN HOW MUCH IT APPRECIATES ITS EMPLOYEES. NOT EVEN A MONTH'S NOTICE ON THE CLOSING IN PEKIN. EVERYONE THERE IS BETTER OFF-DON'T LET NIK OR BRITT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT-YOU HAVE A NEW JOB NIK AND BRITT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!! HOPEFULLY SANDI WILL FIND SOMETHING EVEN BETTER-KAREN AND JANET AND DORIS ARE ALL OK-GOOD LUCK EVERYONE. Sunday, May 04, 2003
stupid things i saw/heard today, which shall be forever-more called "dumbass sunday"..... .....an elderly woman in andy's restaurant told her daughter (quite loudly) "i'm sick and tired of the way you treat me" .....a car waiting for my parking space at wal-mart held up traffic all the way back to the edge of the lot so they could have my parking space .....a woman came around the corner aisle and almost ran into me; i said "excuse me" and she just ignored me (i also believe i got "the look" from her)-obviously it was MY fault for being there-DAMN ME!! .....the neighborhood strays are eating the food i put out. i thought that was the owner's job, but of course, they are complete failures as owners; otherwise these animals would not be in my yard all the time (and making more strays) .....the scooby-doo movie. i'm just waiting for arachnaphobia to start (did i spell that right?) neato things that ALSO happened today which make "dumbass sunday" a not so bad day..... .....two robins were fighting-it's breeding season and love is in the air! .....pez (my chinchilla) has the run of the living room (i'm cleaning carpets later) and i think he's driving the cats crazy...hehehehe .....it's raining!! .....my dog was glad to see me when i came home .....i've got an unopened, quite large bottle of mexican tequila that someone at work gave me (he's from mexico and a super nice guy)-one of these days..... .....it's quiet and i love it!! Saturday, May 03, 2003
IT'S DERBY DAY!!! time to see what famous people who have probably never SEEN a horse before get great seats, wear those big-ass hats and sip mint julips while they schmooze w/the rich. i'd LOVE to go to Churchill Downs for DERBY DAY (!)-i actually sent for info-apparently you have to wait for an INVITATION to get tickets-ain't that a bitch! however you CAN go down, purchase tickets at the gate (hehehe-the gate, get it?) and work your way to the front. i could handle that. the really weird part is, we were there once, just to see it-it's actually (at least about 10 years ago) in the middle of the slums. SERIOUSLY!! they don't show THAT on tv. OH BOY!! race is starting. Thursday, May 01, 2003
"Oh, I'm a perp? You see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp. Look at my suit, look at my tie. What do I look like, the fuckin' Crip's accountant? Look at this badge, bitch. Check out the gun!" "I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar." |
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