..I haven't been around much lately...and I really don't think anyone will care to hear why...but I need to say this....

.....................I've been with this man for over 20 years...the most important person in my life. He may not feel I'm sincere enough...things haven't worked out between us and I was the one who broke it off...he's hurting so bad right now...and I feel like a shit for this...but I'm so afraid I'm going to lose him completely...I want us to remain best friends....I want to be able to say I need him or he needs me and come running. I believe in fate...but how can you tell if it's the right way to go?
...I don't want people to feel sorry for me...when I was sick, part of the reason I never said anything to a lot of people was the pity....I just wanted the people that care about me to know I probably won't be on here as often for a while....

...and I want you to know, Chris....it may seem like I'm deserting you...but I will always be here for you...and I'm so sorry I am hurting you...you mean more to me than you could ever know...
posted by Wanting at 2:33 PM