SO TELL ME....WHAT'S WITH....

...crabby people at WalMart? Some of the customers could be a little nicer, too.

...all this friggin' mail from these Scientologists? My dad made this HUGE mistake and signed a register when he went on a tour of their facilities some 30 years ago, and they STILL send their shit to this house.

...Hollywood? No really good scary movies have come out of Hollywood for years. Guess I need to pop in some old favorites.

...MST3K? That show was funny...I mean...I watched it...I liked it...it can't be any more stupid than the Real Gilligan's Island, now can it?

...management? Ever heard the expression "you can attract more bees with honey than with vinegar"? Why are some people with "power" such dicks? Try doing my job for a day, then tell me how I can improve it.

...people with no work ethic? Think you have a hard life because you worked a whole 40 hours this week? Please keep bitching about it...I love to hear how you get screwed every day because they don't let you take two hours for lunch instead of one, while I have to redo your work because you don't care how sloppy it is.

...a diaper on the ground? A dirty diaper...thrown on the ground...because you didn't want to take the time to put it in the garbage. Why don't you let your kid just stand outside and take a dump in the street? As he gets older, he and daddy can have pissing contests in my yard. Great thing you're teaching him...

...people in my yard in the middle of the night? Nothing else to do? Please don't stand there while I sleep in the house. I don't like that...makes me nervous. There's no reason to be there. If I see you, I call the cops. If you make me feel threatened, I call the cops AND wield a little wooden club with a metal band around the edge. If you come into my house, I will hurt you. No reason to come in. I have nothing valuable here...believe me when I say this.

...this weather? I don't care if it's July. I don't like the heat. I want fall...I want cooler days and crisp nights...campfire weather. I want a BIG fire...until it burns itself out and I'm asleep in my tent all snuggled up with...

...damn...gotta change that, too.
posted by Wanting at 6:48 PM